Epiphany

That's such a good word, ya know... but anyway, said epiphany occurred on a day of loneliness and depression whose cause still remains elusive. I was praying that God would take this miserable feeling away because I wanted to feel joyful again, and close to my Lord. But amidst the crying and pleading I found James 1:2-4 and Romans 5:3-5

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Now, I know these verses, have memorized these verses, and they are some of my favorites, but on this night I realized something. We fall into trials for a reason, and just begging God to take these trials away is not to our benefit. If he takes them away immediately, we'll be happy and thankful... and then like the Israelites before us, we'll forget and fall into the trials again. Believe me, I've done it :P

Happiness, and even the joy of the Lord, are not dependent on what we're going through in life, but how we handle being inside these problems. I was depressed and wanted it gone, but when I realized that I was supposed to find joy within this pit something changed. Even though I hate feeling miserable, if I can make myself remember that God does everything for a reason, I can be joyful in my misery, knowing that it will make me stronger... weird, I know, but it works... somehow.

I'm sure you all realized this long ago, but I hadn't.