The Place: my bedroom, sitting at my desk
The Time: 10:20 on the night of May 13th
The Scenery: a pile of graduation announcements on my floor, a chocolate Cougar Country milkshake in front of me, piles of pennies on the floor near my now naked door.
Never in my dreams would I have thought that 4 days after I graduated from Washington State University I would be unemployed. Not gonna lie, after applying for something like 23 jobs, it's eating at me, and I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me. *sigh*. Trusting God is becoming a major issue; it's hammered into my head day and night, but my heart is being pretty dang stubborn about accepting it. I want to one day soon be like Job...
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Job 13:15
This man lost everything he held dear, and he still praised God. But he wasn't without a healthy dose of whining about how he didn't deserve the trouble... however, I really don't think I could handle how God eventually broke Job's pride.
I graduated with straight A's, magna cum laude, so no pride lost there, but maybe this situation is God's way of finally breaking my ever-festering-below-the-surface pride. Because in all reality, taking some time off to just chill and not work isn't all that bad of a prospect, it's because of my pride and where I apparently hold my self worth that I'm angry about being unemployed. (and hey, this is a little better than thunder, a whirlwind, and an angry God)
huh.
Okay God, help me wait on you. Not that I have a choice, but going willingly is so much more enjoyable than going kicking and screaming.
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