Thinking, Praying, Waiting

Impermanence has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.

People ask where I'm from, and I really have no idea w

hat to say. Even though I know that this world is not my home, I don't like being physically homeless.

Never have I realized just how fragile life is. My sister has brain cancer. My father is recovering from a severely debilitating stroke. My wonderful cat, Dorian Gray, was found dead on the road today.

We are but a breath. Here today, gone tomorrow.

So many friends have come and gone, few have stayed. And yet t

he ones who have stayed, the ones who care, the ones who stand by me even when I'm not standing, they mean the world to me.

I have a window garden now, and the seeds are sending up fragile little green shoots, reaching towards the light.

You know that phrase, 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'? It's true.

I finished C.S. Lewis' 'Perelandra' tonight, and I can't put my finger on how it did it, but it taught me a lot about the character of God, and just how good He is.

'The Problem of Pain' has also helped me understand why bad things happen to 'good' people. All is not well in the world.

If our life remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him.

Pain reminds us that whatever we have on earth is not enough.

He is the only source of true happiness.

Am I sad about my circumstances sometimes? Yes.

Is this an acceptable human response? Yes.

But only for a time.

And a short time at that.

*sigh*

I'm sorry if my blogs are getting repetitive; it's what happens when I'm stuck in a place that doesn't seem to want to end...

R.I.P. Dorian Gray. I'll miss you, mon ami.