Is it selfish to be so lonely at a time like this?

Is it a sin to be completely unconfident and insecure?

Is it bad to be apathetic one minute and passionate another?

Is it wrong to feel largely purposeless?

....

God?

Just Because

With allergy season approaching for all us poor, unfortunate souls afflicted with hay fever, I thought I'd see if any of these work... The pollen.com one certainly looks promising. Though I really want to know if that last one actually works. I'm suspicious.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthieryou/16276/10-ways-to-ease-your-allergies-naturally/

One could have a worse looking nemesis, I suppose

Thinking, Praying, Waiting

Impermanence has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.

People ask where I'm from, and I really have no idea w

hat to say. Even though I know that this world is not my home, I don't like being physically homeless.

Never have I realized just how fragile life is. My sister has brain cancer. My father is recovering from a severely debilitating stroke. My wonderful cat, Dorian Gray, was found dead on the road today.

We are but a breath. Here today, gone tomorrow.

So many friends have come and gone, few have stayed. And yet t

he ones who have stayed, the ones who care, the ones who stand by me even when I'm not standing, they mean the world to me.

I have a window garden now, and the seeds are sending up fragile little green shoots, reaching towards the light.

You know that phrase, 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'? It's true.

I finished C.S. Lewis' 'Perelandra' tonight, and I can't put my finger on how it did it, but it taught me a lot about the character of God, and just how good He is.

'The Problem of Pain' has also helped me understand why bad things happen to 'good' people. All is not well in the world.

If our life remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him.

Pain reminds us that whatever we have on earth is not enough.

He is the only source of true happiness.

Am I sad about my circumstances sometimes? Yes.

Is this an acceptable human response? Yes.

But only for a time.

And a short time at that.

*sigh*

I'm sorry if my blogs are getting repetitive; it's what happens when I'm stuck in a place that doesn't seem to want to end...

R.I.P. Dorian Gray. I'll miss you, mon ami.

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it

For God is not a God of chaos, but of peace

.....

Lucy leant her head on the edge of the fighting top and whispered,

"Aslan, Aslan, if ever you loved us at all, send us help now."

The darkness did not grow any less, but she began to feel a little - a very, very little - better. ... and at last with a whirring of wings it was right overhead and was an albatross. ... But no one except Lucy knew that as it had circled the mast it had whispered to her,

"Courage, dear heart,"

and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan's

....



Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have [a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

....

"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."

....

Despite the pain

Despite the confusion

Despite the questioning

Despite the anger

God is bigger

I really have no idea when it started, but awhile back I thought cutting my hair really short would be a good idea. Maybe stress does funny things to a person, I dunno. But now that it's all gone, I guess it was a good idea. It's so convenient! You guys really have it easy...

As for the ears. I think it all started when I decided I would do pretty much anything to not be normal or average. So I didn't shave my legs, didn't pierce my ear(lobes), refused to drink alcohol in college, etc. And then Beth said something interesting. She decided to drink before graduating because it had been a pride thing all along. If there's anything I need to be rid of, it's pride. So I had a drink on St. Patrick's Day at Rico's. And now I have my earlobes pierced. If anything it's taken off some stupidly self-imposed stress! (Shaved legs is a whole 'nother story though :P)

Hmm

Yep, that's all.

Funny Thing About That...

Soooo...

I was miserable last night because things weren't getting done fast enough up at the house. Daddy comes home in 10 days, and the amount of work that needs to be done is/was overwhelming. Beth prayed for Alana and I, and among many things, she asked Him that He would use the church as his hands and feet. She then told me that if God wanted the ceiling done, he would get it done, I just needed faith. I told her that I really doubt it. She looked scandalized (I love you, Beth, you make me laugh). About a half hour later we got a call from Phil saying that he was getting together a group of guys to come help us sand and put up the ceiling... and then Mom and Dad's pastor called and had gotten together a group of people to come over and sand and clean.

Long story short, we had about 20 or 30 people in the house today, got all the drywall sanded, both bathrooms grouted, the walls were taped for painting, and half the ceiling was put up. One more long day should see the ceiling finished.

Oh Lord, I'm sorry for being a doubting Thomas. Thank you for proving yourself to me, yet again.

Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: \səb-ˈmit\
Function: verb
1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another

Main Entry: re·sist
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈzist\
Function: verb
1 : to exert oneself so as to counteract or defeat
2 : to withstand the force or effect of

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:7-8

Yep, that's all. It's not as easy as it sounds. It's my verse of the year though :)