such and such, and all that jazz

Not exactly sure what that means, but oh well... I went on a trip with the fam today, to Northern Idaho, to the hot springs I went to over spring break. The river was so high that the best spring was flooded, but oh well, the woods were gorgeous (I want to live in them!) and there was a lot of warm stream water to wade in. I took a lot of pictures, but here's a couple of my favorites.

Lil' Blue

I feel like there should be a fairy in this picture...

Oh well, at least I found a Fairy Slipper :)

I found a dipper!

I'm very discouraged
I'm tired
I think I botched an interview for a job I really want
I want to foster baby kittens
I have no schedule, so I'm becoming lazy
I'm so out of shape

Life is not what I want it to be right now

On the upside

*God is always, always bigger
*Colleen is living in the Rock now :)
*I have a milkshake, and had an epic hamburger earlier
*I got straight A's my last semester at WSU
*My DARs report is all green now :)
*Sooner than later I'll be able to get my unconditional offer of place at Otago
*Graduation announcements are done, I just need to find some envelopes
*I have $258 to spend on a tattoo
*I have a bike to ride tomorrow
*My friends/siblings are doing great things for God
*I have a new pair of jeans, that actually fit
*Two good books are waiting on the floor for me
*I can work on my novel whenever I want to
*I'm wearing my lucky underwear, hehe :P
*Raisins in my shrimp fritters

Yay for working things out in a blog...

The Place: my bedroom, sitting at my desk

The Time: 10:20 on the night of May 13th

The Scenery: a pile of graduation announcements on my floor, a chocolate Cougar Country milkshake in front of me, piles of pennies on the floor near my now naked door.

Never in my dreams would I have thought that 4 days after I graduated from Washington State University I would be unemployed. Not gonna lie, after applying for something like 23 jobs, it's eating at me, and I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me. *sigh*. Trusting God is becoming a major issue; it's hammered into my head day and night, but my heart is being pretty dang stubborn about accepting it. I want to one day soon be like Job...

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Job 13:15

This man lost everything he held dear, and he still praised God. But he wasn't without a healthy dose of whining about how he didn't deserve the trouble... however, I really don't think I could handle how God eventually broke Job's pride.

I graduated with straight A's, magna cum laude, so no pride lost there, but maybe this situation is God's way of finally breaking my ever-festering-below-the-surface pride. Because in all reality, taking some time off to just chill and not work isn't all that bad of a prospect, it's because of my pride and where I apparently hold my self worth that I'm angry about being unemployed. (and hey, this is a little better than thunder, a whirlwind, and an angry God)

huh.

Okay God, help me wait on you. Not that I have a choice, but going willingly is so much more enjoyable than going kicking and screaming.

3 things

Reading in 1 Corinthians 14 yesterday and found the verse "our God is not the author of confusion, but of peace..." So even if my mind is in a whirl of confusion, the one who holds me is not a God of chaos. It was so reassuring.

I went to Rico's last night, and sat at the bar, studying anatomy. When I asked the bartender what would be good for a bad cough, he gave me whiskey on the rocks. It did help, and actually tasted pretty good (and amused everyone with me).

Walking down from the financial office in Abelson today I almost stepped on a little male cricket. Using a sandwich bag, I picked him up and carried him home. So Hermione has a new roommate! I think I'll call him Kronos.

Moo(dy)

So many things whirling about in my head, I feel like the water underneath a red phalarope's feet...

Graduate school
*Paying for it
*Hate dealing with money
*Getting there
*Being alone
*Birds!!!
School
*Only 2 more weeks as an undergrad.
*Graduation craziness (and relatives)
*Saying goodbye to people I love
*Need a job! Amendment... want a job!!
*Finals are kicking my butt
*Presentations scare me
*Uncertainty is overwhelming
People
*Twitterpated housemates
*Pain and confusion... it's not my fault... is it?
*Parting isn't sweet, it just feels like sorrow
*My heart is becoming bitter, and it tastes bad
*Some love me, some avoid me... why (both)?
*Please, see me as an example of what not to do
God
*I need to make time
*I've pulled away again
*I need to go back, and give Him my complete trust
*I love Him, and I miss Him


=^._.^=

*sigh*

I don't deal with change very well

Splendid Day

Round 1: It all began with a minor nervous breakdown... but it went up from there. Alana, Brooke, and I went to pick up a one Mr. Aasen, who was sitting on the rocks in front of Boulder Creek apartments, with very messy wet hair. Our first stop was Tri-State, where Alana fixed Phil's hair (yeah faux-hawk). We then went on a great excursion in the shoe department where Alana's "professional" shoes ended up being fancy flip-flops. Silly girl. But Brooke makes a wonderful tough love shopping consultant. And then onward to One World Cafe! I don't like raspberry ice tea all that much, but it was alright. The building was marvelous though! Doors hanging from ceiling, narrow stairs, and wonderful lofts! I got all the way through my ecology notes, and halfway through anatomy. Then came HyperSpud Sports, in which Phil discovered that he'd forgotten about a dinner engagement. Oops. So he left us, sad day! (after a moment of reconciliation between Brooke and Phil). Then the Co-op. I love that store so much. A splendid lunch ensued, and then all kinds of wonderful grocery shopping. I got Wensleydale cheese and grapefruit Juice Squeeze. So tasty! After the tastiness came the mall, WinCo, shirt shopping, and buying marvelous fabric at JoAnn's.

Round 2: We came home around 5:30 and I made a Totoro for Hannah's birthday, whilst studying anatomy.

Round 3: Brooke and I rearranged the whole upstairs (i.e. all the furniture) and built an epic fort/castle! We used 4 couches, one music stand, one fire escape, one tv, and two mattresses. We crammed about 8 people inside and talked for awhile, and it got very warm. I then made cranberry orange scones, we made tea, Phil came back over, and we watched Muppets from Space, inside the tent.

Round 4: We stayed up talking until almost 2 a.m. and then proceeded to drive Phil home. On the corner of B street and Colorado we noticed three shady individuals sitting on the curb. Guess who? Ben, Robbie, and Tom, of course. Who else would sit on the corner, completely sober, asking people what their favorite color was, and taking bets on it. A wonderful end to a wonderful day :)