25 May 2009

such and such, and all that jazz

Not exactly sure what that means, but oh well... I went on a trip with the fam today, to Northern Idaho, to the hot springs I went to over spring break. The river was so high that the best spring was flooded, but oh well, the woods were gorgeous (I want to live in them!) and there was a lot of warm stream water to wade in. I took a lot of pictures, but here's a couple of my favorites.

Lil' Blue

I feel like there should be a fairy in this picture...

Oh well, at least I found a Fairy Slipper :)

I found a dipper!

20 May 2009

I'm very discouraged
I'm tired
I think I botched an interview for a job I really want
I want to foster baby kittens
I have no schedule, so I'm becoming lazy
I'm so out of shape

Life is not what I want it to be right now

14 May 2009

On the upside

*God is always, always bigger
*Colleen is living in the Rock now :)
*I have a milkshake, and had an epic hamburger earlier
*I got straight A's my last semester at WSU
*My DARs report is all green now :)
*Sooner than later I'll be able to get my unconditional offer of place at Otago
*Graduation announcements are done, I just need to find some envelopes
*I have $258 to spend on a tattoo
*I have a bike to ride tomorrow
*My friends/siblings are doing great things for God
*I have a new pair of jeans, that actually fit
*Two good books are waiting on the floor for me
*I can work on my novel whenever I want to
*I'm wearing my lucky underwear, hehe :P
*Raisins in my shrimp fritters

Yay for working things out in a blog...

The Place: my bedroom, sitting at my desk

The Time: 10:20 on the night of May 13th

The Scenery: a pile of graduation announcements on my floor, a chocolate Cougar Country milkshake in front of me, piles of pennies on the floor near my now naked door.

Never in my dreams would I have thought that 4 days after I graduated from Washington State University I would be unemployed. Not gonna lie, after applying for something like 23 jobs, it's eating at me, and I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me. *sigh*. Trusting God is becoming a major issue; it's hammered into my head day and night, but my heart is being pretty dang stubborn about accepting it. I want to one day soon be like Job...

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Job 13:15

This man lost everything he held dear, and he still praised God. But he wasn't without a healthy dose of whining about how he didn't deserve the trouble... however, I really don't think I could handle how God eventually broke Job's pride.

I graduated with straight A's, magna cum laude, so no pride lost there, but maybe this situation is God's way of finally breaking my ever-festering-below-the-surface pride. Because in all reality, taking some time off to just chill and not work isn't all that bad of a prospect, it's because of my pride and where I apparently hold my self worth that I'm angry about being unemployed. (and hey, this is a little better than thunder, a whirlwind, and an angry God)


Okay God, help me wait on you. Not that I have a choice, but going willingly is so much more enjoyable than going kicking and screaming.