Thanks so much

Have you ever noticed the exhaustive "I'm thankful for..." lists that are posted around Thanksgiving day? My dear friend Colleen gave me a great idea recently; posting one thing a day, up until Thanksgiving. Well, more like she's doing it, and I'm copying her... but either way, I think I shall do this until I leave once again for Texas (since I'm starting kinda late in the month).

So yes.

Numero Uno:

I'm thankful for heartache.

It makes me pray like I ought,

makes me appreciate joy even more,

makes me call out to God with a passion,

causes me to question and search my beliefs,

makes me realize that I am nothing without Him,

and makes me look forward to the time when God will wipe the tears from every eye.

"God shouts through pain"

That's Life

I have 2.5 days left on the Machen Ranch. *sniffle* I'm really gonna miss everybody!!

I need to find me a nice rancher cowboy, preferably in Texas. Anybody know one?

Fletcher is costing me an arm and a leg... but when he rolls over and purrs excessively while I rub his belly, it makes it all worth it. He still bites too much though.

One of the ranch cats (Wisdom) came stumbling in yesterday with a broken/crushed shoulder. Poor baby! But she's feral, so not much I can do besides give her food and water.

Prince of Persia... it was as if Tomb Raider, Clash of the Titans, Hidalgo, and an old John Wayne western had a child with a British accent. Entertaining though, I'll give it that.

Being back in WA will be quite the climate and culture shock.

More people should use sir and ma'am in regular speech. And y'all.

I wish I could have gotten my quilt quilted before leaving, but alas, I shall have to finish it back in WA.

I think I want my next project to be a victorian era corset (just not one that'll cinch up too tight).

Packing... oh buddy, this should be interesting.

Met a lady at church today who grew up in Bemidji, MN and has a sister who lives in the Renton area. Small world!

That's all for now, next post will likely be written in WA.

Life as I know it... at the moment

Fletcher just jumped in my face, purring like a maniac. It's a good thing I like that kitty or I'd have a hard time shelling out $150 on his travel expenses. Oh well, if this year has taught me anything it's that money is a liquid asset. I did start a budget today though, with my new salary, I'm gonna need it...

I don't want to leave the Machen Ranch, I still absolutely love it here, and will miss everyone immensely. Granted, deer season starts this week, so maybe missing out on the carnage will be okay... But they did offer me some venison when I get to my new job, and a crock pot, and they did invite me down for Christmas if I can get the day off :) God has been so good to me this year. I really can't emphasize that enough...

My travel plans are set in stone now (at least according to Southwest Airlines). I'm arriving in SeaTac at 11:20 on the night of October 20th, and leaving SeaTac at 9:30 in the morning on the 5th of December. The time in between is currently wide open... anybody want to hang out before I leave for a year?

Harry Potter must be seen,

Bucer's must be visited,

Dancing must occur at CJ's,

Ridiculous Halloween costumes must be made,

Copious amounts of tea need drinking,

Shopping for new work clothes has to happen,

Thanksgiving should take place (and I don't mean just the holiday),

Church should definitely be attended every week,

A quilt might just have to be made for the Father's Heart auction,

Rabies shots have to be fought by my immune system (booo!),

A movie night involving Iron Man 2 and pizza really should happen,

I need help deciding what to do for my 23rd birthday...

So yes, if you'd like to join me on any of these ventures, please, do let me know :)

huh

Isn't it funny that a single comment from someone, doesn't even have to be someone who means a lot to you, can make you sit down hard and wonder what AM I doing with my life? What DO I want? And most importantly, what IS God's will?

With so many of my friends getting married, engaged, etc. and then settling down happily and not pursuing a career it makes me all the more determined to actually have a career. I feel like not enough women want to be independent and make something of themselves. But then I realized today that if I sit back and look at the big picture, it's actually the reverse. So many women are pursuing careers and independence that the concept of home and family is being swept out of the way. The daycares are full (as my mom can attest), the pre-K classrooms are packed, the idea of a stay at home mom is subtly looked down on... Here I sit wondering why the hell I feel that having a career is better than not having one, when the thought of settling down and having a full time job scares me.

Am I really that determined to prove people wrong?

Am I so afraid to change my mind because of the smug looks and comments I would get from a couple people?

Is my pride really that strong?!

Or is my lack of a biological clock God's will?

*sigh*

I am currently, solidly, on the fence.

The Next Step

I gots me a job.

A job for a whole year. A job with a dress code (hrm...). A job as an apprentice instead of an intern. A job at one of the nation's biggest wildlife rehab facilities: Wildlife Rescue & Rehabilitation Inc. http://www.wildlife-rescue.org/

I do believe I am equal parts stoked, scared, and sad.

Stoked because... well, wildlife rehab, if you know me at all, you know how much I love to help animals :D And just thinking about the amount of animals and the diversity of animals that come to WRR... eeeee!!!

Scared because I don't know who I'll be living with, if they'll be even close to as nice as the Machens, if I can handle the work load, if I'm smart enough or fast enough, if I want to get my rabies pre exposure vaccine, if I can handle not going to church for a year (unless a miracle occurs), if I'll fit in... ever... *sigh* so many ifs in life, you'd think I'd be used to pushing them away and just going for it.

Sad because... I'm gonna miss my Washington/Oregon family. I have 10 total days of vacation/sick time, so I don't see coming home as an option.

That said, praise God, He knows what's best for all of us, and it would seem staying in Tejas for a whole 'nother year making animals feel better is what's best :) And despite the fact that I botched my interview, apparently they think I'm qualified, so I ain't gonna argue.

*gulp* Adventures ahoy!

Ouch

What's wrong with me?

What's stopping me from being all that I can be as a follower of Christ?

Why am I so damned insecure, when God has given me eternal security?

Why am I always so tired, and constantly using it as an excuse not to live life fully?

There are people who are far worse off than me, some in my own family, and yet it's so often all about me, me, me. Ew. Just ew. I disgust myself sometimes, and I'm so glad that I don't disgust my God. Anyway.

So often I feel like I need to do great things for God, and not menial tasks like emptying the dishwasher, feeding baby deer, making more iced tea when we run out, helping with dinner, making messes then cleaning them up, making quilts and not being patient enough to make them perfect. I can't remember what day it was, but I was reading My Utmost For His Highest the other day, and O. Chambers said something that is now ringing true in my mind. One of the most dangerous thing in the world for Christians is to do things for God. To work for Him. As if He didn't die for us when we were still sinners. As if we needed to curry His favor...

As if He's ever needed our help!

No, we need to do things with Him. Empty the dishwasher with Him, because it's what He would do: "If then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master..."

Jesus washed feet. Jesus did commonplace, mundane things *gasp* Another good quote from O. Chambers "It takes God Almighty incarnate in us to do the meanest duty as it ought to be done." So true. If we work with God in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, we will be prepared when the storms hit.

I barely survived the last two massive storms in my life and I did not end either one well. I was barely prepared. I had gotten stuck in a rut of forgetting my God in the commonplace. And I'm falling into it again. By God's grace I won't fall completely.

My bad...

....I just realized that I haven't blogged in over a month... a month?! Where did that month go?! I guess it was eaten up by fawns (they eat practically anything after all)

Oi

Um, yeah, so, what's been going on:

*Felicia went home on the 7th to start school. Pretty lonely for a few days there, and I certainly still miss the conversation and laughter that went on while washing bottles.

*I discovered an XM radio channel that is all music and songs from the movies :)

*Kittens... how did I not mention the kittens! On July 20th one of the ranch cats disappeared, leaving behind six 4 - 5 week old kittens. We (well, mostly me) dropper fed them goats milk for a few days, then slowly weaned them onto dry kitten food.

*One of the kittens is now in my room, and goes by the name of Fletcher Hermes Geoffrey Ransom. He's wonderful :) And he's coming home with me :D I love kittens, have I ever mentioned that?

*Dean Huber's cousin's son works at Fossil Rim Wildlife Center here in TX and Dean put us in contact. He wants me to apply for one of their internships :) I'm also in the process of applying for an apprenticeship at a big wildlife rehab place just north of here. Lord willing one of those will work out!

*I really like Texas, y'all should come down and visit awhile

*I got to go to Cowboy church again this Sunday. Good times, good times.

*Did I ever mention that I got to go the Alamo and San Antonio Zoo? Both were amazing. The zoo was especially impressive. It's huuuge! And their bird collection is fantastic. I kinda want to apply there too...

*Barbara got Photoshop CS4 for her computer to make adds for the ranch and for deer auctions and such things. So we're both trying to figure out how to use it. I made 2 advertisements for them though :) They turned out pretty nice, if I do say so myself.

*Oh yeah, and she gave me photoshop for my computer. Woot!

*The Machens are co-owners of a hunting/sports/ranch store (I'm not sure if I mentioned that already) but anyway, they publish a magazine every hunting season and I think I'm going to get to write an article for it. Short, but about cleaning up your trash wherever you go so that it doesn't affect wildlife and nature. I'll try and post it when I'm done.

*We had a twin fawns born day before yesterday. CRAZY. We thought all the does were done having babies because none had been born for over 3 weeks. So we're up to 71 babies on the bottle now. I named the cute little doe Zoe (from Firefly)

*7 year old Hallie has officially declared that I'm long. Not tall, long. I decided not to question it. She even drew me as a long person :P (I've been teaching her proportions and how to draw people; it's kinda fun)

*The sunsets and sunrises here are fantastic.

*That is all for now

Sincerely Yours,

The deer nanny